Friday, April 8, 2011

This week has been a bit of a Trial....

On April 4th, 2004, my middle child, Karl was hit by a car when the driver made an illegal left turn. The left turn arrow had gone to red, and the green light was on when the man turned and T-boned Karl who was riding his Harley. Now Karl was no angel in life by any stretch of the imagination... He'd had his moments of anger and aggressive behavior. He drank too much, and had other faults; he sported many tattoos and wore his hair long. So anyone seeing him on his Harley, with the black leather jacket, long hair and tats, would immediately label him as "biker" - and he was.

He also was an excellent machinist who was very good at his job. He was a loving father to his son Jonathan who had just turned 10. He was a good provider for his family of 4: His fiancee, her daughter and his son. He had sole custody of his son - something not lightly given by Cook County IL courts.

He'd just finished rebuilding the bike, and had called the insurance company to get insurance on it. He gave Jonathan a call - Jonathan was at my house for the weekend. And then he took the bike out for a ride. And that night he died.

In 2004, April 4th was Palm Sunday. By the time his brother made it in from CA, and his step sister from TX and all of the arrangements were made, the Funeral was finally held on Saturday April 9th. And the next day was Easter.

So last Monday was the 7th anniversary of his death, but my memories forever link Palm Sunday with my son's death, and so this time - around Easter, is a time when I think about Karl a lot, and miss him. And then, of course, Karl's birthday is May 10th. So no matter when Palm Sunday falls - whether March or April - that time surrounding his death, Palm Sunday Easter and his birthday becomes a period of time when I find it difficult to do much of anything.

So last Monday was actually ok. Tuesday I spent the day running around. Wednesday I was away doing a friend's taxes, and yesterday I went to pick up my sewing machine. Today I baked. Do I see a pattern here???

So from 4/4 until 5/10, Karl's photo will be my profile picture. And every time I log onto Facebook, I will see him.

Tonight I am picking Jonathan up, and he'll be here for the weekend.

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